I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
