mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
