his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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