Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
