I CAN MOONWALK!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
