Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize