'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
