Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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