Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
