WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
