I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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