in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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