we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
