My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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