Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we're making bets on your personal life
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
