Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
