He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
birth control should be required to get into college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
