Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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