Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
