Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
