i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
