She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
