Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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