so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
