they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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