...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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