SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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