i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
