We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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