A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
