i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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