I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
