at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
