is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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