umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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