I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
