Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
