butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
