I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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