There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
