Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
