Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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