Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
