Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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