I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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