I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
