So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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