Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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