I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
