I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
