your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
