i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
