Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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