Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
