Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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